They need support, so
that they don’t fall victim to depression, a common risk incurred by family
members caring for a cancer patient. Where can you turn? What
exactly should you expect to experience as your partner navigates her fight
with cancer?
And when will you be able to think about yourself and your needs
again? These are some ways of getting support for yourself :
1. Support Groups
Check with your local church,
library, and hospital for support groups for families of cancer patients.
These
groups have a diversity of members of all ages, cultures, and socioeconomic
backgrounds.
Some groups also have members who have experienced all types of
cancer diagnoses.
However, groups exist
specifically for breast cancer partner support—especially in cities with a high population.
Talking with others who know what you’re going through may teach
you new coping skills.
Group members can also tell you what to expect during
the course of your loved one’s cancer treatment.
2. Digital Support
Y-ME is a partner match program that supports partners of
breast cancer patients by offering a peer counselor who had the same experience
you’re having.
The counselor will understand how overwhelming shouldering your
partner’s needs can be, and will help you navigate your emotions.
Once your
partner is on the mend, you can volunteer your services as a peer counselor.
3. At Home
Although you may not want to
burden your partner with talk of your own feelings and emotions, communication
can help you comfort each other.
Your partner may be worried about possibly
losing her breast and not being attractive to you.
She may feel guilty about
not being able to contribute to household duties, or that she’s neglecting the
children.
Discuss what systems you’ve put into place to reduce her burden of day-to-day
activities, and improve the quality of family time.
4. Asking for Help
Depending on the age of
children, you can assign them some extra household chores.
Just be sure not to
overwhelm them with duties, and allow them to continue to participate in activities
outside the house.
Schedule outings for the entire family to enjoy if your
partner feels up to it.
If she isn’t strong enough, board or card games with the
whole family will allow the children to feel that even though their mother is
ill, good family times can still happen.
Enlist extended family
members or friends to help with the children, whether it’s driving them to
school or giving them some time away from the house and their mother’s illness.
Remember to take time away
for yourself. Ask for someone to stay with your partner and recharge and relax
with an activity that’s just for you.
You have a difficult job
ahead, but don’t feel the need to do it alone.
Reaching out to others for help
will keep you strong for your partner and allow her to concentrate on beating
breast cancer.